Unwritten (figurative) Rules of Baseball

So the three of us were talking about how absurd some of the unwritten rules are (partly because we found written record of some of these rules) and decided to make fun of some them.

• Do not make the last out of the inning at 3rd base. (I don’t even know what this means)
• Do not cross over the pitcher’s mound (or Dallas Braden will cut you!)
• Don’t stare at your home run (Instead run around the bases and if it ends up being foul walk your dumbass back to the plate.) – Case in point Carlos Gomez.
• By baseball digest 1986: Play for the tie at home, go for the victory on the road. (because everyone knows road wins count for more)
• By baseball digest 1986: Don’t steal when you’re well ahead. (or you’ll get hit the next time you come to bat which will cause you to rage and charge the mound and then Gaby Sanchez will hit you with an APAesq Clothesline From Hell.
• By baseball digest 1986: Never give up a home run on an 0-2 count (however feel free to give up home run’s on any other count)
• By Baseball digest 1986: Never let the score influence the way you manage (yeah because you wouldn’t want to make adjustments down a few runs late in the game, no keep doing what you’ve been doing since its been working so well.)
• By baseball digest 1986: If one of your players gets knocked down by a pitch, retaliate. (I recall my mother telling me something to the contrary when I was 5.)
• By baseball digest 1986: With a right-hander on the mound, don’t walk a right-handed hitter to pitch to a left-handed hitter. (Unless of course the the right-handed hitter is Mark McGwire and the lefty is Gregor Blanco!)
• Got to include the utmost rule: Never talk about a no hitter while its going on (because Verlander can hear you through the TV all the way in Toronto!)

If you’ve got some absurd unwritten rules put it in the comments and if they’re funny we’ll throw it up on here…and take full credit for it.

 

ZNRCN4WTCM2P

About these ads